What a beautiful day – got the patio door open and the music turned up loud. I’m listing to some reggae compilation CD – Bobs next. 

No ones home yippppppeeeeeeeeee & I am making the very most of it. 

By the way thank you everyone who sent me birthday wishes. I did have a lovely day – kind of bitter sweet but I did enjoy it. 

I couldn’t get my head around it being my 3rd birthday without K. Dunno why but it seemed to hit me hard.

Guess it made me realise I’m now in my 3rd year without him. Something else I’ve realised this last week is I just can’t open myself up to anyone anymore – I’m so frightened of hurting again – I’m cutting off everyone little by little and I’ve got to stop it. I just can’t stand the thought of getting close then losing anyone – not just men I mean my girlie friends too. J keeps talking about moving away so I know I can’t get close as one day she won’t be here – self preservation – I’d rather be alone for ever than ever be hurt again.  

Anyway today I took little GS to the new park they’ve just made down the road – he had a wonderful time – he can climb up the slide! OMG! I was amazed – he’s only just over 2 but there he was climbing up it. I managed to get some brilliant photos of him. He’s so cute & extremely photogenic – love his little heart.

How can I let him into my heart but no one else?