There is going to be a summer fayer in the village where A lives next Saturday. My cousin phoned me last night and asked if I wanted to go with her - I had to say no as I've no way of getting there - I told her about my letter to A and she said she would seek him out and ask him if he recieved it.

I wish I could go - it would be lovely to catch up with my extended family.

I fucking hate myself at the moment - I am fucking sick of rejection letters - I'm fucking sick of not being able to do things cos the fucking bastard car is fucking wrecked!

ARGH!