I have long since given up on the idea of having another man in my life.

I’ve grown use to my own company – used to being alone – I don’t miss having someone to hold me – or to talk to me in bed on a night – in fact the very idea of a man invading my life sends me into a panic. 

So why is it that when C asked me to babysit for her so she can go out with her fella did the tears well up and I started asking myself the age old question “when will I ever get a date”? “When will someone ever take me out?” 

Confused or what?