One week today and it will be 2 years since K died. 

Only over the last few weeks have I realised I am actually doing ok – I’ve made plans for my future and I am looking forward to getting on with it.  

I had a long chat to H this morning and I’ve told her of my plans.(I don’t want to go into them here in case they don’t go right and I end up feeling foolish) 

She told me her and D are going to start looking for their own place – which is fantastic – they need to – its going to be hard for them to live the life they need to stuck at home with me. They need their independence and freedom to have friends round and look after Tidgy – so we talked about time scale – she said the next six months so that means I will finally get round to selling this big old house. 

I CAN NOT WAIT! 

I am going to have to think about it sensibly as I know this is not the best of years to be putting your house up for sale but who knows where we will be in 6 months time – probably right here writing the same thing haha! 

I know where I want to live and I know what I want to do – it’s been a long slog but at least now I’ve something to aim for and some sort of direction to follow. 

So I am still on the job hunt but what makes it easier for me is that I know as soon as I do sell my house I won’t have to work for someone else ever again. During the next 6 months I need to knuckle down and do my research – get a business plan together – mind you I’ll be funding me so I don’t have to worry about banks and credit crunches – I’m excited. 

I just wish it could all happen tomorrow! Impatient as ever! I will keep my eye firmly on the news – and find the best time to sell as possible – I could afford a small loss but I don’t want to make any loss if I don’t have to. So as I say I am looking forward with really positive eyes! 

Other news: The doctors are beginning to reduce the sedation that my cousin’s son is under – hoping he will wake up on his own. I’ve not heard back from her so I assume he is doing ok! I saw a photo of his bike on a news web site last night – it made me feel really sick! 

I learnt today I am going to have a new Grandson in September – I’m not happy hahha I didn’t want little GS having a bloody brother!!  Poor Tiny GD in the middle of two boys! How dreadful for her! I am only kidding I’m thrilled for B – now I just hope she stops having babies for a while.There is 7 months between Tiny and Tidgy and there will be 7 months between Tidgy and the new baby! For fuck sake I’m going to have to sell the house to afford Christmas! 

Tidgy is doing REALLY well – she is now demand feeing and they are once again talking about her coming home on oxygen – she’s a little fighter that girlie! 

I didn’t go for coffee with GH – I’ve taken a step back in that direction as I know deep in my heart its not the direction I am going at the mo! I know it was only coffee but I just didn’t have the heart to go!

I’m looking after me now for a while – self preservation and all that!