Tidgy is still very unwell – she’s had every test known to man and they are waiting on the results – she had a blood transfusion this afternoon which H said perked her up a little.
They have got her on a general antibiotic until they get her results – apparently she was awake for a long while and the doctor said that was a good sign.
I’ve spent the whole day in a state of utter panic and still am. I can’t stand illness I just can’t.
No one has any idea what I went through with K years and years of worry and misery – fear of him dying, the sadness the arguments I’m hard pushed tonight to think of any happy times we had over those years - looks like I’ve discovered I’ve now got a huge massive problem with illness – guess I’ve known it deep down for a while cos even if my other grandbabies have a sniffle I get in a tizz.
This is the sole reason I could never have another relationship I have proved to myself I couldn’t cope if someone gets ill – I can’t bear it – I want to run and hide – I just hope with all my might she is a little better tomorrow and doesn’t have anymore set backs.
Thanks all for your kind words and thoughts – it helps me no end to think that banding together with positive thoughts for her will help cos I feel like mine aren’t enough on their own!
2008-04-30 @ 08:10